It's been a while

i realize it's been a while. i don't know how many people are actually reading this, buy i apologize if anyone was 'hooked' after one reading.

anyway, i took a trip to orange city iowa this past weekend. good times. i was able to hang out with a few people. reconnect and all that. on my way home today, i started screaming at God. things in my life just feel like they are ripe for answering. the big things are what to do with friends, girls, and a career. the only problem is that i don't hear God. i don't think i ever have.

to make it worse, i realized on the way home that i feel nothing like a child of God. i feel like all i do is pile on God and then he's too busy to give me an answer so i run somewhere else and try to figure it out. i don't feel like a christian "ought to"--it scares me.

i don't know.

nate

p.s. i'll try to post more regularly, but i am a perfectionist when it comes to getting my point across--if i have an idea, i need to think about it all the way through before i do anything with it--it's a blessing and a curse.